Positives & Negatives
“Your intolerance of THEM, makes me intolerant of YOU.”
So this week has been spent observing a plethora of hate and intolerance, and it isn’t even over yet. I hear a lot of people preach about everything wrong in the world; poverty, obesity, politics - you name it and someone is going to have something negative to say about it. For whatever reason, we as humans focus entirely too much on the negatives. We retain negative memories better or more vividly than the good ones, we’re faster to remember the bad things someone has done towards us rather than the good things they’ve done for us, we analyze the cons before the pros. I’m not a psychology major, so I don’t know the why of it, I only observe it. And I think it’s because of this focus on negativity that we breed so much intolerance and hate into the world. Now, I’m not trying to preach, that’s really not my thing and I’m not religious. And I know I’m very far from perfect or saintly, but I do have some tolerance and common sense.
.
I suppose the key element that provoked this post is the most recent bit of news on negativity and intolerance that I’m sure everyone has heard something about - the reported suicides of several homosexual teenagers that were harassed by their peers. I read some things about it, watched some things, heard about it on the radio, discussed it, and even posted (see previous blog post) about it. I was, and still am, deeply saddened by the news and sincerely hope that those teens and their stories are not forgotten in all the turmoil of today’s world. However, as sad as I am about it….I’m more pissed off. The hate and intolerance WE produce so willingly has pushed a handful of young people to take their own lives, and that simply IS NOT acceptable. Many of us believed and accepted that bullying in school was part of the experience. That shouldn’t be the case. Yes, kids can be downright mean and critical, but why? People make fun of others because of their own insecurities, we know that, but why are kids insecure? There are several reasons, too many really. Media, poor living situations, family trouble. I couldn’t begin to list all of the reasons. What I can say though, is that these insecurities are reproductions of negativity.
The media, for starters, is ONE BIG network of negativity. Go turn on the news, count the number of sad/negative stories against cheerful/positive, and tell me what you come up with. The news is fucking depressing. More media, go look in a magazine, list the number of “weight loss secrets” and beauty ads versus positive self-image articles and photos of real, natural, un-airbrushed women. I could write pages on the damage those kinds of magazines do to a young girls’ self-esteem. Internet, newspapers, even just every day conversations are riddled with people just lying eagerly in wait to spit venomous words about some person or thing. We like the negativity, we feed of of it. And it’s….disgusting. We’ve developed gossip as a more “civil” way to express our innermost animal tendencies. We can’t always physically fight, so we talk shit about each other instead.
.
What’s worse is that we expel the unnecessary energy to hate things we don’t even care about or have no direct effect on us. I’ll be the first to cop to that. I have immense dislike for the entire Twilight franchise, though it’s more from a literary standpoint than content. I know it’s unnecessary, wasted hatred. At least I acknowledge it. But I’m also not going out of my way to join every Twilight hate group out there. If you like it, good for you, just don’t try to recruit me or say I haven’t even given it a chance, because I have.
On a similar note: why are “Christians” so avidly against gay marriage? That really burns me, to be honest. I came from a Christian family, I was raised Christian, and though I choose not to follow the lifestyle and religion I fully support that my mother and my grandmother do. Both of whom I believe epitomize the faith and true meaning of the religion. True, they don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but they don’t hate homosexuals. They got along absolutely wonderfully with Cary’s parents (who are lesbians) when they met them.
I’m just completely….livid with so-called Christians having such low tolerance for other human beings just because of their sexual preference. The Christian way of life is to do unto others as you would have them do to you, right? Or was I wonderfully mislead in Sunday School? So these intolerant Christians want people to hate and suppress them? Seems…self-destructive and vaguely sado-masochistic to me. I completely understand if someone doesn’t agree with the lifestyle, no one is trying to force them to accept it, so why tell another human being they can’t live their lives with the person they love just because that person happens to be the same gender? If it was unnatural then wouldn’t we be unable to be attracted to the same sex? And what about other animals that exhibit homosexual behavior, like ostriches, flamingos, penguins, orangutans, sheep, dolphins, fruit bats, etc.? If God hated homosexuals then why would they even exist today?
A lot of “Christians” will try to play the “God gave us free will” card, but they can take that card and shove it where the sun don’t shine because it’s a load of bullshit. Yes, we have free will, if the Bible is your playbook, but there are also a lot of things about us that we don’t necessarily have a choice over. For instance, how and what we’re attracted to, and our inherent desire to find a mate. There are a rare few entirely asexual human beings, and I highly doubt any of them made the choice not to be sexually attracted to any one or thing.
But I’m going to stop myself there, otherwise I’ll be writing about the inconsistencies and stupidity of intolerant “Christians” until the sun rises.
.
That rant, however, brings me to my next point. For all the intolerance in the world, and all the negative effects on self-esteem, how in God’s name did we end up with not one, not two, but six (and more) teenage suicides in the span of a few months due to homophobic and homosexual harassment? After reading about the tragedy of Tyler Clementi’s death, as well as the deaths of the five other teenagers, I couldn’t tell if I wanted to cry or to scream. It’s frustrating, seeing the horrible things that people do and not having the power on my own to put a stop to it. One act of kindness won’t change the world by itself, but it doesn’t hurt to do it anyways. Who knows, maybe that action will help someone else and persuade them to act as well.
I am incredibly saddened by the unnecessary deaths of these teens, but my spirits are slightly lifted by the reactions and support of thousands of people who have also heard this story. With the support of networks like It Gets Better, The Trevor Project, numerous celebrity shout outs, and Spirit Day, I regain a little bit of hope for humanity.
I support the gay community, I always have, and will continue to do so. I believe that each person has a right to live their lives as they wish to and that we, as human beings, have no right to pass judgment on them or persecute them. I’ve subscribed, bookmarked, liked, faved, posted links/blogs/statuses, everything I could think of to push this issue out as far as I can help it go.
I will be wearing purple on October 20th, in remembrance of those lost and support of those still struggling with this problem. This is my act against hate and intolerance, what’s yours?
.
- C J
